Discerning Our Kid’s Needs Series
Bible Passage:
“And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be
patient with them all.” 1 Thessalonians 5:14
Bible Passage Overview:
As Paul closes his first letter the to church at Thessalonica, he gives some final instructions to the believers there in verses 12-22 of chapter five. This is a brief synopsis of what their one-anothering should look like. Earlier in the letter, Paul has addressed confusion over questions of what happens to believers after death and has tried to give them hope as they experience hardship. In this passage, he pleads with the believers at Thessalonica and instructs them as to what their community life should look like as a church.
He lays out a series of ways of responding to the needs of other believers. Some believers were undisciplined, disorderly, unruly or just plain insubordinate. The right response to the unruly is to warn them, to caution them gently, to counsel them against such behavior. The second type of believer is the one who is fainthearted, despondent, or has little spirit. The appropriate response to this individual is to speak words that calm, console and encourage them. The last category of believer is the weak. These individuals are without strength, feeble, and this infirmity may be physical or moral. The believer’s response to this fellow brother or sister in Christ is to endure or support. It is a very physical picture of cleaving to, or holding them, like you would a child who is learning to walk, allowing them to lean on you. The last command given by Paul is to practice patience with every type of believer. They are to blanket all interactions with those in the church with and attitude of perseverance that is slow to anger, long suffering, and does not lose heart .
A Prayer Of Discernment for the Parent in 1 Thessalonians 5:14
Lord, I ask for your help. I am struggling to know what ______________________ (Child) needs right now. I know that you know “the secrets of the heart” (Psalm 44:21); give me discernment with __________________ (Child). You know _________________(Child) completely (see Psalm 139). I need your discernment to train him/her in righteousness, so that I can respond as You would have me. Let me respond not react, so that I may not be ruled by my emotions, but by patience as the Holy Spirit works in me.
Is _________________(Child) in a rebellious state, not disciplined, disorderly, unruly, insubordinate? Give me wisdom, Lord.
Is__________________(Child) in a place of discouragement, despondent, small spirited? Give me wisdom, Lord.
Is__________________(Child) experiencing weakness, feebleness that is physical or moral? Give me wisdom Lord.
Is more than one of these above struggles at work, making this situation complex? Give me a mind and heart that knows ___________________ (Child), Your image bearer. What is s/he wrestling with right now?
How might I respond to_______________ (Child) to warn/encourage/support them? What will reach their heart, pointing them to gospel truth and hope?
(If more than one struggle is at work) Which struggle needs addressing first Lord?
Lord, give me wisdom and discernment as I go and speak to them now.
Young Hearts Knowing Truth
1. Read 1Thessalonians 5:14 with your child, explaining the 3 different types of struggles they could be experiencing (a rebellious heart, a discouraged heart, a weak heart or body).
2. Explain that we all need help understanding ourselves. Go to God together in prayer. Here is a prayer to pray together:
A Prayer of Discernment with Your Child
Lord, there is a lot going on in _____________ (Child’s) heart right now and it’s coming out in (tears/yelling/hiding/silence, etc.). We thank you God that You know everything we do and think, and You keep loving us no matter what. When we were right in the middle of our sin, You died for us. You didn’t wait for us to become better people first because we need Your help to change in our hearts. We cannot do it without You.
Lord, will You help us name what is going on inside ___________ (Child’s) heart. Thank you that we can be honest with You, and each other so that we can keep growing to look more and more like Jesus. Is ________________ (Child) not wanting to be like Jesus right now? Is ______________(Child) discouraged or wants to give up? Is ________________(Child) weak or weary and needs help? We know Your word tells us there is help for us no matter what is going on in our hearts. We thank you for Your help.
3. Ask your child which struggle(s) they think are in their heart right now. Ask them: what makes you think it’s that struggle(s)?
4. Share which struggle(s) you see in your child explaining what makes you think that is the struggle. Give them a chance to agree or disagree. Remember “be patient with them all” and ask your child to be patient with you as well.
5. Address each struggle that the two of you came up with by walking through a verse in scripture with them on that topic. (For help with responding to each need, see my next four posts in the Biblical Topics Toolkit of this Discerning Our Kid’s Needs Series. We’ll walk through how we can warn, comfort, support and develop patience when our children are undisciplined, discouraged or weak.)
6. End your time together in prayer.’
*Resources used for reference: www.blueletterbible.org (Including, Strong’s, Vine’s Expository Dictionary, Thayer’s Greek Lexicon).